Out in the Cold

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Folks, many years ago, I supervised a contract maintenance team; in an abandoned inner-city pub. My new crew immediately combed the place for hidden stashes of booze, but the only alcohol soaked things they found were two bums who’d set up camp underneath the grand staircase. Continue reading

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Agree to Disagree

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Folks, I may not agree with what you say, but I’ll fight for your right to say it. Of course, as far as some of you are concerned, I may not be fighting quite as hard as I possibly can. Continue reading

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Come In Spinner

Spinner

Well, they were two weeks ago…

Folks, a couple of weeks ago I found one of those little spinner things in our house, so I gave it a twirl. Three hours later it was wrested from my mits and flung out the front door. I still haven’t found it. Continue reading

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Frank Work Inexperience

Tom Tough

Best work experience ever!

Folks, long ago, my high school teacher asked me what job I wanted to do after leaving school, and I eagerly replied, “Emperor for life!”

For some reason, she started laughing. Continue reading

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Whale Oil Be!

SolarFolks, apparently, Oz is suffering through an energy crisis, so I’ve been gazing around our sundrenched land and wracking my brain trying to think of another source of cheap, reliable and renewable energy.

Probably from harvesting whales again if some political troglodytes get their way. Continue reading

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Happy Mums Day!

muttertag

Sadly, the chocolates didn’t survive the car trip to Mums’ place…

Folks, making a baby is a fairly simple process, all you need is the right plumbing, an eager accomplice, and a few minutes privacy to download your blended DNA’s into a little i-You 2.0

After that, things get a bit trickier. Continue reading

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Waking Up To Insomnia

InsomniaFolks, for some unknown reason I recently joined Insomniacs Anonymous. We don’t have meetings, we just lie awake in our own beds each night daydreaming about enjoying a good nights’ sleep. Continue reading

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