Getting an Education

Pretty simple really...
Pretty simple really…

Watching the latest batch of school leavers on tele recently, reminded me of just how much stuff I learned in school that I still use today; except for Algebra.

Anyway, at the top of my list are Shakespeare’s plays.   They were full of violence, witches, backstabbing, political games and a lot of shouting lunatics not making any sense; much like a PUP Party meeting.

But managing to battle through the Bards’ books, without going into a coma, gave me the ability to stay awake through future boring and pointless workplace meetings.  Over the years, this wonderful skill has helped me shift some pretty nasty agenda items onto the person slumbering next to me.

High School also introduced me to the scariest book I’ve ever read: Mathematics for Secondary Students.  It reduced me to a gibbering wreck on a daily basis, so using sandwiches as currency, I persuaded the class Math Whizz to outline the barest minimum I needed to know in order to pass my exams.  Since then I’ve often hired experts to tackle tasks I can’t, or won’t, do.

Physical Education taught me how quickly a young skull heals after mistaking a casually tossed medicine ball for a soccer ball.

In Science I was introduced to an eye-popping array of explosive materials that my parents had purposely kept dark from me for years.

And Metal Shop was where I learned to remove splinters, treat burns and bandage severely lacerated limbs.

There was so much more!  Like how to avoid, or cope with, mind numbing boredom, assignment anxiety, bullies, uncaring authority, an unspooled Super-8 film reel, rampant acne and what happens when you take too big a whiff of purple-inked paper fresh off the stencil duplicator.

Good old school, I mightn’t have learned much, but I sure got an education!

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