Dogged By Morons

Just another day on the walking track...

Just another day on the walking track…

Thank goodness I was carrying a gun that fateful day at the beach when I was attacked by six large dogs.  Even though my hands were shaking I managed to drop two of them and the others ran off.  Wasn’t that lucky?

Actually, that’s not quite true, I didn’t have a gun.  For some reason, I forgot to pack a pistol along with my towel and sunscreen.  Honestly, what was I thinking?!

Fortunately, there was a nearby pile of rocks which I managed to scramble up with seconds to spare.  And there I stood, surrounded by snarling hounds, while their owner, Mr. Moron, sat under a distant tree pawing at his phone and ignoring my shouts for help.

High tide was hours away, so I had a long wait until I could take my chances with the sharks and jellyfish.  Thankfully I was rescued a few minutes later by a little old lady walking a silky terrier.

The dogs dashed off to attack her and she bravely fended them off with her walking stick.  Then a bloke roared out of the dunes wielding a piece of driftwood, which finally got Mr. Moron’s attention.

As things rapidly deteriorated, I decided to make a discreet exit.  Look, I’m not particularly proud of that, so let’s never mention it again OK?

I drove home, ignoring the strong smell urine coming from somewhere, and mentally scratched that beach off my ‘Safe Places to Walk’ list.  A list that is sadly getting longer each month thanks to morons with dogs.

Hopefully one day, these dangerous mongrels will be banned from our communities; big dogs that is, unfortunately we’re stuck with their moron owners.  But until then, all I can do is try to avoid them, because apparently the Police take a real dim view of show-offs with guns.

About Greg Bray

The scribbler behind the 'On a Lighter Note' column.
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