Unhappy Snaps

This bloke knows what to do when caught naked in public.
This bloke knows what to do when caught naked in public.

“Is anyone here wanted by the law, cheating on their partners, hiding from debt collectors or in a witness protection programme?!”

Whatever happened to hollering, “Say ‘Cheese’!” before taking photos in a public place?

It seems a growing number of us are a tad touchy about being photographed unawares and discovering the snaps have been posted on social media without our consent, to the delight of a gawping world.

Nobody wants unflattering photos of themselves circulated online, especially if they’re having an epic bad hair day, clothing malfunction or trailing a toilet paper tail.

And crowds armed with cameras make it nearly impossible to relax at sporting events or fishing trips after tearfully informing your boss that you are attending dear Granny’s funeral, for the third time in six months.

Even the dimmest among us are realising that publicly undressing in the presence of anyone sober enough to use a smart phone can swiftly result in loss of reputation, career or marriage; unless you’re a Kardashian.

If that wasn’t enough, some sickos are hiding miniature cameras in public toilets now, so there’s virtually nowhere safe to let it all hang out these days!

So far I’ve been lucky, but somewhere in Oz there’s a photo of me desperately trying to cover my crotch on what I had mistakenly thought was an isolated beach.  That was several years ago and fortunately the shot hasn’t appeared online… yet.

I have since been advised that next time I should cover my face and not my privates, so nobody will recognise me.

Next time?!

There won’t be any ‘next time’, as I’m thinking of wearing a disguise in public from now on.  Depending on the occasion I’ll either be Zorro, Gandalf, the Phantom or Bozo the Clown.

So snap away folks, I’ve got nothing to hide!

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