“Have you tried retuning your television?” asked the TV signal repairman. “Gee! I never thought of that!” I replied sarcastically; which was probably why he hung up.
It had taken weeks to get a human to return my numerous, and increasingly desperate, calls to fix our TV reception, and now thanks to my smart mouth, we were facing another month of interrupted shows.
“Is he coming?” asked my family.
“There were some communication difficulties,” I mumbled, and retreated to the shed.
Sadly, our digital TV viewing experience has not been as amazing as I’d hoped. When the signal is good, the picture quality is exceptional, but lately the only thing we are watching with any clarity is the ‘No Signal’ message.
After tuning, retuning and re-retuning our television, I consulted Prof. Google (Dip. Reception Difficulties) and discovered a large tribe of similarly despairing folk.
As advised, I upgraded all the cables running through our house, installed booster boxes and re-wired our ancient aerial. “Free TV indeed!” I muttered, as our credit card took another battering.
Later, while I was sliding off the roof, I noticed my neighbour fiddling with his aerial too, and the penny dropped; along with my good pliers into the garden bed.
“Having reception trouble mate?” I called.
He rolled his eyes, “I’ll be divorced if I don’t find my wife’s favourite soapie channel.”
“That’s worse!” shrieked a voice from inside his house. He twisted the aerial savagely. “Are you actually doing anything up there?!” came the voice again.
His shoulders slumped, “I give in,” he moaned.
He needed cheering up, so I quipped, “Have you tried retuning your TV?” I narrowly dodged the screwdriver he threw at me.
Now he’s not speaking to me either which is a real shame, because there’s nothing on tele.