Demotivating Mottos

Get To Work
My first boss would have loved this poster

A few weeks ago I ripped out, sorry, lovingly crafted, a column about living like there’s no tomorrow, and how doing that would mean most of us wouldn’t be here today.

But people’s life mottos keep popping up like rampant acne, and I wonder if they’ve really thought about the implications of their adopted slogans? 

For example:

‘Do It!’  Well, before you ‘Do’ whatever ‘It’ is, just remember this – our hospitals, prisons and divorce courts are full of extremely sorry folk who couldn’t control themselves.

‘Harden Up Princess!’  The motto of those who like to tell it like it is because they care (apparently), but squeal like worn brake pads when someone returns the favour.

‘Dance Like No One is watching.’  Folks, thanks to YouTube everyone is watching; and laughing. Now, I groove like a man receiving a series of violent electric shocks, so I’ll keep dancing in my darkened wardrobe and advise you to do the same (um, in your own wardrobe).

‘People’s life mottos keep popping up like rampant acne’

‘Make your own Luck!’  Whenever someone makes this smug claim I feel like stomping hard on their foot and asking them just how lucky they’re feeling right now.  Luckily for them I’m not someone who will ‘Do It!’

‘YOLO’  (You Only Live Once)  Oddly enough, the joker who had this plastered on his car window drove like he had nine lives and wanted to use them all up as soon as possible.

Folks, if you must have a motto then try this one I got from my first boss:

“Listen stupid! Keep your big mouth shut, your hands to yourself and get back to work!”  (There’s much more, but this is a ‘PG’ rated column).

Plus, I didn’t need it written on a sticker or a tattoo, because he lovingly thumped it into my thick skull; eventually.

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