Standing Orders

Work Treadmill

FASTER!

Last weekend I slouched on the couch flicking between election coverages, as standing hopefuls competed to become sitting members, while some sitting members got dumped on their backsides.

As the night dragged on, it dawned on me that quite a lot of journo’s, experts and talking heads were also standing. Obviously thing are so grim in TV land nowadays, that the networks can’t afford chairs for everyone.

But, standing up at work has become a bit of a thing lately. Quite a lot of office workers, admin assistants, bank tellers, shop assistants and now TV presenters are spending their working hours on their feet.  Sure it’s uncomfortable, but it’s good for employees’ health and productivity; apparently.

In fact, and I dread to put this into print for fear that the finger of blame will be pointed in my direction, but I’m sure some bright spark will soon decide that standing employees should be put onto treadmills which could be used to power the office lights, turn a little sign out the front of the shop, or run the massager in the boss’ high-backed, executive leather chair.

And airline industry number crunchers are probably already planning to remove the back breaking seats from Economy Class in order to prevent deep vein thrombosis, and free up stacks of space to cram in extra passengers. On the bright side, if you’ve ever spent any time in ‘cattle class’, standing up for twenty plus hours on long haul flight might actually be slightly more comfortable.

I can already hear the bean counters fist punching the air and yelling, “YES! YES!  YES!”

I’m so very, very sorry…

Anyway, I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to spend less time parked on my posterior, but it’s a risk I’m prepared to take; and I’ll stand by that decision.

About Greg Bray

The scribbler behind the 'On a Lighter Note' column.
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