The Year of the Chook!

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Well, it’s about, I say, about, time boy!

Folks, today marks the start of the Chinese Year of the Rooster! And while some may be cock-a-hoop about it, those of us born in the year of the Horse generally don’t believe in fairy tales.Anyway, last weekend, to distract myself from the Trump ascendency, I decided to do a bit of research into what sort of zodiac animals some of our politicians are; immediately, images of top-hatted, grinning pigs standing neck deep in a trough stuffed with cash sprang into my mind.

Still, starting with ‘The Donald’, I discovered he was born in 1946, the year of the Dog. Well, he’s top dog now and his best doggy traits are loyalty and cleverness, while his weaknesses are stubbornness, and being too sensitive and emotional.

At this point my scepticism began to waver.

Interestingly enough, Donald’s wife, Melania, was born in 1970, so she’s also a Dog! By the way, so is my Long Suffering Wife; born in 1970 that is.

Here in Oz, Malcolm Turnbull and Pauline Hanson’s birth year is 1954, which makes them horses (like me!) 1954 ponies are wooden elements, which might make Mal a rocking horse and Pauline a Trojan horse, while I, with a name like Bray, would be a… moving right along.

Being born in 1967 makes Bill Shorten, and Barnaby Joyce, Goats. Now, there are three types of goat: Billy, Nanny and Feral, and you can choose for yourselves which one of each these two are. But the one thing you really need to know about goats is, never turn your back on them.

I did eventually find one pollie who was actually born in the Year of the Rooster: Tony Abbot, 1957. No wet hen, this cocksure bantam was thoroughly plucked after some foul play in the fowl house. But don’t call the Colonel just yet, because this plucky little pullet might just flutter from his backbench perch for another chop at the prime roost.

Anyway, it was an interesting diversion, but I don’t put a lot of stock in these ancient fables; well, we Librans just aren’t that gullible.

About Greg Bray

The scribbler behind the 'On a Lighter Note' column.
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