The Gladstone Industrial Car


Certain to appeal to Gladstone’s motorists

Folks, power prices are racing up faster than a tailgating logging truck trying to beat a red light on Glenlyon Road.

Happily, work is underway on a massive solar farm on the outskirts of town, on the other side of Mt. Larcom (the mountain, not the township). Which is a tad too far for me to tap into all that yummy electricity, especially since I’ve fallen slightly short of getting the two thousand, ten metre, extension leads I need to reach it.

But, before it’s built, and someone turns the switch to ‘ON’, we’ll have to decide what to do with all that cheap, sunny power. Now, before you say, ‘Build a glass dome over Gladstone and air-condition it!’, how about we do something a little more novel?

Like, building battery powered cars right here in Gladstone! Just like the ones being produced by the man with the worlds’ funniest name, Mr. Elon Musk.

We’ve got the power, the aluminium, the magnesium and the people to sweep the factory floor. We just need to import some unemployed workers from the deceased auto plants in Victoria to teach our tradies how to stick all the bits together.

We’ll also require some Government cash to fund this innovative industry, but as the current mob seem a bit coal obsessed, perhaps we could ask Mr. Musk to kickstart our project; once we’ve learned not to snigger when saying his name.

Look, like it or not, cars are here to stay, in one form or another, so why not manufacture a Gladstone car? And, unlike most of my ideas, I reckon this one will actually fly, well, drive.

But, failing that, we could build an extension chord factory, because I’ve got an order here for two thousand, 10 metre, leads to go right now!

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