Semi Free TV

Funny-Television-16

TV and I have changed over the years…

Folks, one of the issues overlooked in the Lisa Wilkinson/Karl Stefanovic fracas last week was the following: regardless of how it was divvied up, the pair of them were getting paid nearly four million bucks a year to sit in front of a camera for a few hours a day.

That’s nearly a thousand dollars per hour, each! No wonder they’re grinning like a pair of chimps in a banana plantation.

But, a bigger issue, especially for our nations’ TV network managers, is the stampede of Aussie viewers streaming their favourite shows and movies via the internet.

I don’t know why the rest of you have moseyed over to online tele, but here in the von Bray mansion, it’s because I’m earning slightly less than a thousand bucks an hour and we’re trying to combat eye-popping living costs.

So, I unplugged our pay TV subscription, which neatly headed off any talk of budget cuts to my weekly beer allowance. Then, to avoid the inevitable squabbles that would no doubt occur if we were forced to actually talk to each other during the numerous, marathon, ad-breaks on free TV, I generously let The Littlest Princess pay for Netflix.

Now, for the first time in my long, and passionate, TV viewing career, I’m watching what I want, when I want. Best of all, it’s commercial free (at the moment), and there’s no annoying station promo’s constantly informing us of what channel we’re watching, just in case we’d suffered some kind of brain injury between shows and needed reminding.

I sincerely hope this wonderful situation doesn’t come to a crashing halt when the NBN is foisted upon us, because, having tasted that delicious TV programming freedom, we can’t go back now. It’d be like returning to typewriters, dial telephones and rabbit ear aerials. Unbearable!

TV networks which quickly adapt to our fickle viewing habits should survive, but those who continue to blunder onwards through the wastelands of infomercials and dumbed-down reality shows will soon sink, like bloated, thrashing, overpaid dinosaurs, into cesspools of their own making.

Mind you, I’d pay to watch that!

About Greg Bray

The scribbler behind the 'On a Lighter Note' column.
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