Brace yourselves!

Summer! Yippee! Swimming! Watermelon! Picnics! Hailstorms! Cricket! Totem Tennis! Overflowing gutters! BBQ’s! Beach! Trampoline Lashed to the Fence! Ice Cream! Iced Tea! Emergency Supply Kit Updated! Hammocks! Heatstroke! Mangoes! Insurance Paperwork Stashed Safely Away!

Summer… yay?

Ah, summer! The season of long, glittering, golden days at the beach, swimming at the pool, or lazing alongside a river or creek on weekends, and sweaty work shirts, chafing thighs and BO during the working week.

Summer! When we count down the days to a much-needed Christmas break, but worry about the Christmas shopping and unavoidable family re-union/all in brawl on Christmas Day.

Summer! When we sink to our knees and thank Wills Carrier (literally the coolest engineer of all time), for inventing the modern-day air-conditioner, but curse the sound of the electricity meter spinning off the side of the house.

Summer! Washing the car in my budgie smugglers and traumatising the neighbours; again.

Summer! When we toss out our old thongs, and break in a new pair. Because the last thing you need when walking over lava-hot bitumen is accidental contact with the ground through a hole in your pluggers. Trust me, you’ll squeal like a little girl who’s been stung by a bee.

Summer! When we start our exercise regimes in order to look good in our swimming togs and quickly discover we should have started three, possibly six, months ago.

Summer! When the Test Cricket matches give me the perfect excuse to avoid working around the house and start drinking just after breakfast.

Summer! When the heat drives us outside to eat dinner, and swarms of stinging insects drive us back in again.

Summer! When the grass grows faster than I can mow it, the weeds turn into Triffids and the humidity turns my hair into a damp pile of frizzy wool.

Summer! When the storms return, and we play the following happy family games during the inevitable blackouts, e.g.: ‘Where the Hell are the Candles! ™’, ‘My Kingdom for a Box of Matches! ™’ and ‘Waddayamean There’s No Internet?!™’

Yes, Summer… the best, and worst, of the four seasons!

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