Feeling the Pain

Knees

Folks, some of you are still powering on with your New Year’s Resolutions to get fit, but many have pulled the pin, while others are waiting for winter before they have another crack at exercising as they’ve recently discovered that they’re really allergic to heat-stroke.

But today, I’d like to chat with those of you have just been astonished to discover that you’re no longer eighteen and been laid low with an injury while lacing up your joggers.

I feel your, and frankly, quite a lot of my own, pain.

You see, back in 2008, after being shown a photograph of a smiling, fat man (me) I was shocked into getting fit. So, that afternoon, I’d managed to stagger two laps around a nearby school oval when Bob, the groundskeeper, arrived alongside on his ride-on mower. “You need permission to exercise here!” he yelled. I was delirious with joy, “Goodo, I’m outta here!” I puffed.

“No! Keep going, I’ll vouch for you!” the rotten sadist cried, then puttered away.

Over the weeks, Bob kept an eye on me, occasionally shouting sage, but sarcastic, advice, e.g.: “Swing your arms Tubby, you’re running like Frankenstein!”

Fortunately, Bob, my mentor/tormentor, was there the day things went mango-shaped. Folks, I hadn’t run so fast since I was a paperboy being chased by dogs, when my knee ‘twinged’ and the world went black as I face-planted the turf.

Bob helped me up, then muttered, “If at first you don’t succeed, then maybe skydiving isn’t your thing?” I gawped at him, and he sighed, “What I’m trying to say Dummy, is at your age, you need to be looking at a lower impact exercise.”

Once my knee came good I took up walking. Ok, I’m still overweight, but now I can saunter five k’s without winding up in hospital, plus I no longer get puffed climbing out of bed each morning.

And, practically anyone can achieve my fairly low level of fitness. All you have to do is follow Bob’s sage advice, find your exercise ‘thing’ then keep going. Oh, and remember to swing your arms!

About Greg Bray

The scribbler behind the 'On a Lighter Note' column.
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