I’ve Got IT (Dramas)


Yes.  Yes I have…

Folks, lately I’ve been getting a lot of perplexing messages popping up on my computer that I honestly have no idea how to answer, e.g.: Driver IRQL not less equal. Do You Wish to Integrate Your System Cache Now? Click ‘Yes’ or ‘No’

Notably absent is a ‘How the Hell Would I Know?!’ checkbox.

Usually, whenever one of these cryptic warnings appears on my screen, I simply deal with it by shrieking like a little girl and ripping the power plug out of the wall. Then I wander off to make a coffee, grab a handful of biscuits and plug the machine back in. By the time I’ve finished my snack, things have usually sorted themselves out.

Until last week. Because, along with the puzzling warning messages, my phone stopped opening emails and I think I single-handedly bogged down Australia’s internet speed by accepting two printer updates which took days to download. Oddly, the printer still jams while smearing important documents, or refuses to print anything at all if it knows I’m in a hurry.

In desperation I rang an IT call centre. My new mate, Najeev, who toils for pennies in Delhi, was a delight to deal with, once he finally answered the phone. During the couple of hours he spent sifting through my personal files, we got to nattering and he asked me how many people lived in my region. “Oh, about forty thousand-ish,” I replied.

He chuckled, “That’s less than the number of people standing on my railway platform each morning.” Coffee sprayed out of both my nostrils.

Anyway, long (and boring) story short, Najeev wasn’t able to fix the glitch, but he showed me a way of getting around it (although my keyboard hasn’t been the same since I showered it with caffeine).

Yet, since our chat, I haven’t been as anxious about my technical woes, and I have a niggling suspicion that Najeev may be part of a devilish corporate IT plan to put my first world problems into perspective instead of actually fixing the fault?

Am I onto something? Click ‘Yes’, ‘No’ or ‘?’

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