Slipping into eternity – 7 Australians will take their final ‘trip’ today

 

09_19_2014_bananaFolks, roughly 150,000 people die in Australia every year. So today, 410 Aussies will wake up for the very last time.

Unless, of course, they’re among the number of early adopters who didn’t wake up at all.

For those of you still with us, for the time being, you’re probably wondering what put me is such a cheerful frame of mind?

Well, in spite of spending too much time poring through grim ABS statistics, I’m actually feeling pretty optimistic about my chances of living to see today’s sunset.

In fact, I’ve just booked this years’ holiday and have even tweaked my retirement plan (basically, I’ve just accepted the fact I’ll be working up to the day I die regardless of how old I am).

Anyway, if the stats are to be believed, the leading cause of death in Oz is heart disease, followed by dementia. For women dementia is the leading cause of death. Which could explain why Long Suffering Wife doesn’t recognise me or remember my name when we’re out in public.

Plus, my mother who has reached an age where bouts of forgetfulness have stopped being a source of fun, announced recently that she thinks she is getting dementia. The fact she mentioned it several times in less than an hour added weight to her case.

It was with some interest I noted that seven Australians will meet their maker as the result of an accidental fall. As someone who frequently experiences the thrill of watching the floor race towards his face, I sincerely want to know what sort of falls I should be worried about.

I regularly dice with death in my own house. Why people choose to leave my thongs, shoes and workbag around the place for me to stumble over, is a complete mystery.

Plus there’s dog who spends a lot of time under my feet vacuuming up the rich source of food crumbs dropping off my clothes.

I can think of better ways to go, but I won’t spend any more time contemplating my final trip into eternity.

Life’s far too short for that.

About Greg Bray

The scribbler behind the 'On a Lighter Note' column.
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